Bad Gift Ideas

BLACK  FRIDAY

*  All art courtesy "Google Images" and our special thanks to all

the great cartoonists who have had their work posted on Google!

Titling and composition by Felicity.



 by  FELICITY  BLAZE  NOODLEMAN

Hope you had a great Thanksgiving holiday!  With the Yule holiday season fast approaching or in some cases already upon us I thought it might be fun to take the lighter approach to what is now being called “Black Friday” and the remainder of the shopping season.  Oh; and before I forget - The Hollywood Christmas Parade | 6:00 PM November 25, 2012 ! 

With merchants spreading their store shelves and tables with literally everything from A to Z and setting up those irresistible store windows with the latest and greatest we now have more outlets than ever to do our holiday shopping.  Stores, Malls, the Internet and Mail Order Catalogs we are sure to find the best gift for the right price and even have it shipped!  It all else fails then there are always the old standbys – gift certificates and cash!

I have to confess that there are always some of what I call “Wankers” bought and given during the gift giving season.  I think we all know or have had that experience over the years.  Sometimes it makes us laugh out loud or is a disappointment to our expectations.  Sometimes it might even hurt a little but as time passes turns into something we talk about and even make fun of for years.  You could call them the gifts that keep giving!

This week’s article celebrates the worst of the possible worst.  Just for fun!  I’m sure we could add many things to our list of “10 Bad Gift Ideas” and “10 Things To Hate About Christmas” so let the fun begin!  Remember; “it’s always the thought that counts” or as any woman can tell you; you'd better get a great gift to go with that thought!  Remember: precious memories are made from time spent with loved ones.



1 

(1)Auntie Griselda's famous Fruit Cake, (2) the traditional lump of coal for bad

children and (3) a "Planed Parenthood Gift Certificate" by a Doctor who's doing

abortions because his Medical Mal-practice Insurance won't let him perform

any other type of surgical procedures. 

 2

 A refurbished cell phone with a cheep cellular phone provider.

3 

Granny's knitted home-spun anything!  Hats, gloves, scarfs,

sweaters and socks. They never fit right and, well, they

have a stitch missing here and there.  She made them with all

the love in her heart and worked so hard on them all year! 

4 

Subscription to a French "Wine and Cheese" of the month club.  

5

A shot gum from your uncle George with a little note tucked inside which

reads "praise God and pass the ammunition".   He loves to hunt and thinks

you should too! 

6

 I don't know why the Mogen David Winery's even started making this

"Rot Gut" fortified wine.  It's not the kind of stuff you really want to

add to your holiday punch bowl!

7

A used magic kit from a magician who died on stage! 

8

Gift certificate to a beauty school.

 9

  Kitty dress up clothing, especially "Reindeer Antlers" and

anything from the "Jingle Cats"!   

10

 An old shelter dog with bad habits and fleas!

10  THINGS  TO  HATE  ABOUT THE  HOLIDAYS

1. Grand Poppa's made up Christmas songs like “Rudolf The One Eyed Reindeer”.
2. Never enough space at the table for everyone to eat.  Family eating in the kitchen and living room – children eating at folding tables.
3. Commercialism
4. No snow
5. Holiday blues
6. Post holiday cleaning and decoration removal
7. Another College Football game
8. Making leftover turkey salad sandwiches
9. 2 AM  “Door Buster” sales
10. I  HATE  THAT  THE  HOLIDAYS  HAVE  ENDED!

Well that's it from The Noodleman group for this week.  Much to do now and little time for it all.  See you next week!



What he really means is he wants to watch more football!



 * “The Noodleman Group” is pleased to announce that we are now carrying a link to the “USA Today” news site.We installed the “widget/gadget” August 20, and it will be carried as a regular feature on our site.Now you can read“Noodleman” and then check in to “USA Today” for all the up to date News, Weather, Sports and more!Just scroll all the way down to the bottom of our site and hit the “USA Today” hyperlinks.Enjoy!

The Noodleman Group is on Google Blogger!